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Funny Thoughts | Funny thoughts in English |

Funny Thoughts  | Funny thoughts in English  |


1.A Girl Checks Her Weight = 58kg .
Removes Sandal = 56.
Then Dupatta = 52
Now Coins Finished.......
A Boy In A Q Behind Her
Ü Carry On"",
I Have Coins!

2.If u r stressed, you'll get pimples..
if u cry,u'll get wrinkles..
So, y don't u smile & get dimples?
3.God made us body parts for a reason.
Eyes: to look at you
Hands: to pray for you
Mind: to remember you
Heart: to miss you
Legs: to kick you if u ever forget me!!

4.Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.

Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:- because I can't bear that much happiness

5.Gang of Santa-Banta broke a bank, but instead of cash they find
bottles of chilled red wine...
happily they drink and left
next day headline

~ Braking News ~

"Blood Bank Robbed"

6.Husband: Kal mere khawab main ek larki aye thi. Wah! Kia Larki thee!

Wife: Akeli ayee hogi?

Husband: Tum ko kese pata?

Wife: Uska Husband mere khawab main aya tha!

7.mehrbaan kadardaan dekho mere sms ka kamaal
ghanti bajegi bander nachega
mobile uthayega sms padega ab muskurayega
ab banda hoshiyari dikhayega or msg forward karega

8.Father: How did you fail the final exam?
Son: Under water
Father: What do you mean?
Son :All below 'C' level

9.Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: why three?
Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

10.Son - I want a baby brother .
Mom - your dad is overseas. When he comes back we will talk over it .
Son - why don't u give him a surprise?

11.What do u call a woman in heaven? - An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven? - A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven? - PEACE ON EARTH!

12.Banta falls in luv wit a nurse..
After much thinking, he finally writes a luv letter 2 her: "I LUV U SISTER"

13.Girl : Mom, i m in love with a guy..
Mom shocked : How old is the boy & what is he doing
Girl : 3 month & kicking happily in my stomach..

14.can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out,
i know you have it, i wil return it .a Banta asks to ATM machine???????

15.Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?....
It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !

16.''Utha le re deva,utha le''....
'eeee''mere ko nai re baba'
'mere yaar ko utha re'....
eeesh..''duniya se nai re deva''...
''NIND'' se uthare

17.Anty chote puppy se: Oye hoye! kitna sona doggy hai!
Umma.. Umma.. Umma..!
Boy: Par anty..
Anty: Oye kiss karne de!
Umma.. Umma.. Umma..!!
Boy: Par anty iska muh idhar nahi us taraf hai!

18.Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
"Me sick, no work"
Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet"

19.2 Guys Were Following 2 Girls
Both Girls Took Rakhi & Tied To Their Hands.

1st Guy To Second-What Will We Do Now?

2nd Guy-U Marry My Sis,
I Will Marry Ur Sis

20.SANTA went to court

"Order ! Order !"

"1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !"

"Shut Up !"


21.Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it's only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

22.Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two!

She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. :s

"hi darling", he says,
"your parents have come to visit us,
so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them.

23.Two Wise Advises for Married Peoples

Never laugh at your wife's choices...
(You are on of them...)

Never be Prouf of Your Choices...
(Your Wife is one of them...)

24.Never KISS a lady police,
She will say, hands up.

Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next please

Always KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 time

25.Once a husband and wife
were preparing to go office
and the wife thought
she would drive today for the office.

Wife : Chalo na car me kahin ghumne
chalte hai, aur car me drive karungi!

Huband : “Agar tum car drive karogi to
jayenge car mein, aayenge akhbaar mein‚!!

26.Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl

Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.

27.What is the perfect example
of both Good & Bad Luck?

The naughty wind blows the girl's skirt high (Good luck)

but at the same time

Dust falls into the boy's eyes (Bad luck)

28.I Have Saved My Girl Friend Number As "LOW BATTERY"
So Whenever She Calls & I Am Not Around
My Wife Plugs My Phone To The Charger

29.15 years back

Parents wanted their girl
to get married to a good boy


Parents wants their boy
to get married to a good girl

30.All Girls Are Beautiful After The Lights Are Switched Off

All Boys Are Innocent Before The Lights Are Switched Off
(Shakespeare'S Wife)

31.girl: hi baby! :)
boy: hi my lovely..
(sending failed)

girl: are u there??
boy: yes ! yes i am here!
(sending failed)

girl: are u ignoring me or what ???
boy: honey im not.... im here..
(sending failed)

girl: ok! it's over; dont u ever talk to me again!
boy: DAMN! go to hell ! >_<
(message sent)

32.Boy: Marry Me..?

Girl: Do You Have A House...?
Boy: No..

Girl: Do You Have A Bmw Car...?
Boy: No..

Girl: How Much Is Your Salary..?
Boy: No Salary, But...

Girl: No But.You Have Nothing.
How Can I Marry You? Leave Please!!

Boy: (talking To Himself) I Have One Villa, 3 Property
Lands, 3 Ferrari ' S, And 3 Porsche's. Why Would I Need
To Have A Bmw ? How Could I Get A Salary When
I'm The Boss!
& The Girl Lost Her Chance =P =D

33.Q- a parrots sits on an elephant and the elephant died!!
Prove how is this possible….?
Physics student:
assume that elephant’s name is parrot
parrot’s name is elephant:d:p:)
physics can prove anything

34.At Night If Mosquito Bites,
What Should We Do.?
Just Scratch N Sleep Again
We R Not Rajnikant
2 Make The Mosquito Say Sorry

35.In a Party A Handsome guy askd a gal,"r u going 2 dance?"

She felt so happy & said-"yes"

& d guy said-"dats gud,so can i hav ur chair?"

36.A Sweet demand by a kid.
A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came n asked- what happen son?
Kid said-I cant adjust with your wife anymore,
I want my own.

37.Woman is like blue tooth ,
U r next 2 her,
she stays connected,
u go away,
she finds new device

Man is like wi-fi,
many devices can connect 2him at a time

38.Husband throwing knives on wifes picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her
"Hi,wat ru doin?"
His honest reply,"MISSING U"

39.Wanna make money through Facebook...??
Go to:
account settings->
and click on
De-activate your Account
Start Working...!! Lolz :-P

40.Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.

Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:-because main itni khushi
bardasht nahin ker sakta:D

41.DAD:dear son,why yor sister sitting so silent
SON:Nothing dad sister asked
lipstik, but i gave fevistik.
No chip chip
no chik chik

42.A Simple fact:

Boys Can Never B
Satisfied With
3 Things In Life:


There Is Always
A Better Model
Available In Future ;)

43.A Boy Was Going With His Girl Friend

Friend Asked : Who Is She?

Boy : My Cousin.

The Frend Said: Last Year She Was My Cousin.! :D

44.Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It's 1394.

45.Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

46.Question : Why do girls close
their eyes while kissing a guy?
Answer : Yeh ladkiyan ladkon
ko kabhi khush nahi dekh sakti.

47.In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it's legs only?
Sardar:I don't know.
Examiner:You failed, what's your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name

48.One boy went to meet his girlfriend
when he came back at home
mom asked
kahaan gaey they ?
boy:us se milney
mom: kis liye?
boy: haan bohat kiss liye:D

49.Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking‚¦

50.A man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
"He's not my friend."

51.God thought that since
he couldn't b everywhere
he made a mother.

Then devil thought that
he couldn't be everywhere
he made a mother-in-law.




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